


Inevitable

by Ashkar



Series: Royal Idiots [2]
Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alina's POV of Slow and Steady, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hopefully not as sappy as i think it is, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 08:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14016174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashkar/pseuds/Ashkar
Summary: 'We’ll be leaving for Kerch in a week. My dazzling personality ought to cheer up those refugee Grisha quite a bit, don't you think?’ he said, turning back to flash a signature smirk at Alina. But somehow, instead of rolling her eyes in reply, she felt a rush of affection for how familiar that smirk had become to her. How familiar he had become to her.(Alina's POV of Slow and Steady. It's hard not to fall for a certain infuriating genius king.)





	Inevitable

Alina was happy. Or she ought to be. Ravka was saved, she was a queen beloved by all, and she had nothing but a long, fulfilling life to look forward to. This was the moment in stories where Ana Kuya would say ‘and they all lived happily ever after’ and force all the children into bed. So why was she filled with such emptiness?

Her days were definitely not empty - she hadn’t worked this hard even in her first days at the Little Palace. Plans had to be made, audiences had to be held - everyone wanted to see their Sol Koroleva, of course! - and the Second Army had to be rebuilt from scratch. Genya was worried that she’d taken on too much responsibility, but Alina _needed_ this. Focusing on Ravka was the only thing that kept her from her thoughts. If she was left to herself, she would surely think about what happened in the Shadow Fold - and that would make her spiral into nothing.

Mal, the only constant in her life, was gone. This wasn’t just the grief of a girl mourning her first love - he had been her only family, and she had had to _kill him herself_. What kind of cruel Saints did they worship if they demanded such things of her? Maybe she should understand, being a Saint herself. Or maybe she should scream herself into insanity at the irony of it all.

If she couldn’t bear thinking about Mal, then she had no words for what she felt about the Darkling. Even in death, Aleksander Morozova managed to plague her mind every day. He would’ve liked to know that, she thought with a grim smile every now and then.

All she could do was move forward and keep ahead of her demons. Maybe someday she’ll be able to slow down, but that day was not today.

* * *

 

‘It’s high time we made recruitment optional in the Second Army. Child soldiers do not befit the Ravka we want to become.’

A ripple of whispers went through the council. Alina could feel the disapproval radiating from the nobles’ delicate frowns. She wished she had her powers back, if only to vaporise these smug monsters into oblivion.

A hand laid on her thigh, and she looked right to see Nikolai stand up. He had that insufferable gleam in his eyes that the nobles’ evidently recognised as well, because they warily stopped talking.

‘I understand your hesitation. What would be left of Ravka without the Grisha protecting us? Surely it is the honoured duty of every Grisha child to serve the country. After all, our own royal children do the same, don’t they?’

The threat could not have been clearer. Twelve pairs of haughty eyes narrowed. A lot of the nobles’ children were already at the palace for the summer, getting a head start on their calligraphy or butterfly catching or whatever else they did for fun. Rich brats, it seemed, were allowed to be children for as long as they wanted.

Finally, one old lady in ruby earrings gave in. ‘The mass recruitment shall stay, but I suppose we could give them a choice. Though which peasant would pass up a chance to live at the Little Palace, I don’t know.’ she sniffed.

 _Peasants with families to feed, you arrogant fool,_ Alina thought, but she kept quiet. The royal couple shared a private smile - they’d clearly won this round.

It was nice working with Nikolai. Over the last few weeks, they’d developed a comfortable routine - wake up, battle councillors, tackle paperwork, have _kvas_ together, then plan military engagements. She’d even catch herself genuinely laugh in his presence.

She was glad to be friends with Nikolai like before. There were very few people who really understood what she’d been through, and she wasn’t planning on losing any more of them.

* * *

 

‘Alina. _Moi tsarina_. Sankta Asshole’ Zoya sighed. ‘You’re not paying any attention, are you?’

Alina blinked at the three Grisha looking up at her. They were in one of the garden pavilions overlooking the lake, surrounded by heaps of books and charts. An entire afternoon had gone by and they were all still arguing about recruitment missions in the Wandering Isle.

Or at least, the Triumvirate was. Alina had lost track of the conversation fifteen minutes ago and had been staring at the lakeshore instead. A group of Fabrikators were clustered around one of Nikolai’s flying ships as the man himself tinkered about with its engine.

‘I didn’t know you were interested in hydraulic machinery, Alina!’ David looked pleased. “It really is some spectacular technology, isn’t it? Using compressed water is a very smart way to - ‘

‘I don’t think Alina’s looking at the ship, David’ Genya interrupted, smirking.

‘Hmm?’ Nikolai was strutting around the hull, jabbing at different parts with a wrench while the awestruck Fabrikators listened to him prattle away about load capacities. Alina rolled her eyes as he leapt into the cockpit with unnecessary flair. ‘You were saying?’

‘We don’t have time for you to make heart eyes at Nikolai. First decipher this thing’ Zoya threw a hundred year old map at Alina and the cartographer in her winced. Carefully, she laid the scroll down on the table and the four of them went to work.

* * *

 

They were in a corner of a room off the library, barricading themselves with stacks of crime records from the last ten years. Alina claimed that she wanted to be done with them by midnight, but at the rate they were going they were probably in for another all-nighter.

The sofa was barely big enough for two people and Alina found herself curled up against Nikolai’s chest as they sorted through the papers, working in comfortable silence. He smelled like that new rock oil the Materialniks had found in Tsibeya.

‘Five weeks sentence for unauthorized opening of window screens. That sounds excessive.’

Alina snorted. ‘You’ve obviously never had to deal with moths. The ones at Keramzin were the size of your fists and gnawed on every piece of cloth in the estate. Sometimes you could lose entire rugs and sheets to tiny moth holes. It’s a big expense replacing them.’

‘Why didn’t you just light candles on the porch?’

‘Why would we waste paraffin out of doors?’

Nikolai raised his eyebrows. Alina gasped.

‘If the inside of the house was completely dark, the moths would be drawn to the candles outside! That’s brilliant!’ she said, punching him lightly in the stomach.

Nikolai grinned. ‘I would’ve been an ingenious farmhand. Ana Kuya would’ve loved me.’

‘Loved you? Saints, you’d have been one of the _eligible_ boys!’ Alina made a face. ‘She was always trying to get me married instead of enlisting in the army. _Alina, you must catch yourself a man soon! This one is smart and has good strong hands. He would love to eat your borscht!’_

Nikolai bent over with laughter. Alina loved seeing his face like this - eyes scrunched up, dimples dancing. He lost all his carefully constructed masks in less than a second.

‘Ana Kuya is right! I do have excellent hands and would love to eat your borscht. How come you’ve never made some for me? Not very wifely of you, Alina!’

‘Don’t blame me -  it’s high treason to poison the King of Ravka’ she deadpanned.

His arm around her tightened as he chuckled and Alina couldn’t help leaning into him. She might’ve lost her powers but she was still drawn to light like a Keramzin moth, and Nikolai was the biggest, shiniest source of light in her life now. Without meaning to, she fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

 

‘Saints, they drove a _tank_ out of that fort! That’s how they escaped, through the damned front door! They could give you a run for your money, Nikolai’ Alina said, dangling her feet over the side of an armchair.

‘Nonsense. But they do have style, I’ll tell you. Not everyone can trigger Black Protocol and escape.’

Nikolai was buttoning his coat at the mirror. It was a deep green that set off his hair beautifully. How typical of him to look every bit the polished aristocrat even on no sleep at all. The _jurda parem_ issue had sprung up just when things were quietening down in Ravka and now everyone was in a mad rush to figure out this problem before the Fjerdans or the Shu caught hold of the scientist.

'We’ll be leaving for Kerch in a week. My dazzling personality ought to cheer up those refugee Grisha quite a bit, don't you think?’ he said, turning back to flash a signature smirk at Alina. But somehow, instead of rolling her eyes in reply, she felt a rush of affection for how familiar that smirk had become to her. How familiar _he_ had become to her.

‘I stopped listening at 'dazzling personality’’ she cut him off and he pouted at her. She walked up to him and fixed his cravat, suddenly wanting to hold onto some part of him. Kerch was a dangerous place for him to be in right now, even as Sturmhond.

'Be safe. I know you'll have Genya and Zoya and Tamar and everyone else, but I want you to promise me that you'll return safe. Sturmhond might be a big fan of taking wild risks, but King Nikolai has a responsibility to his people. Besides, I need you here, Mr. Too-Clever Fox’ she said.

The look on his face was priceless. It’s not often that one gets to leave Nikolai speechless, and Alina liked to cherish every time she did.

 'I….wait, Mr. What?’

 'Just say it!’ Something must have shown in her face because he squared his shoulders and softly said, 'Alright, I promise.’

The moment stretched out between them. She could feel his heartbeat under her fingers and he looked like he was about to say something more, but another voice broke through.

'We’re starting in ten minutes, you two!’ Zoya snapped her fingers at her and she started, pulling away from Nikolai. With a quick glance back at him, she walked out first, eager to put a little distance between them. She could feel herself flush down to her neck. Huh.

* * *

 

He was standing at the balcony outside his chambers. Alina could just make him out from her own window. This wasn’t their first bout of insomnia, nor would it be their last. The moon washed out his hair, making it almost as silvery as hers. She watched him pick at his scars and stepped out on the balcony herself.

‘I still miss my powers, you know. I wake up earlier now so that I catch every drop of sunlight in a day. It helps, but it's not the same. It'll never be.’

He looked up at her with such a haunted expression that it made her heart ache. She held his hands in quiet contemplation for a while before continuing. ‘It feels like I'm incredibly ungrateful when I miss it. We saved thousands of lives - that's an excellent trade off for my powers. But I still regret it sometimes, and that's okay. The same way it's okay for you to miss who you were before the….before what he did to you.’

He looked so vulnerable. Alina felt a wave of hatred for the Darkling for doing this to him. Nikolai sighed and looked up at the sky.

'I used to feel invulnerable - I didn't realise how much I relied on that. Sometimes I want to go back to how I was so badly. All I do now is feel anxious and second guess myself. Is it me or the _merzost_ making a decision? Is there even a difference anymore?’

She brought his hands up to her lips. ‘We are not our powers. I am still the Sun Summoner without them, and you are still you with the _merzost_. We have to believe this.’

Nikolai had the faintest of smiles on his face. Her heart jumped when he ran a hand through her hair. ‘Thank you’ he whispered.

* * *

 

‘Let me through’

He was being ushered through the hall by a couple of Healers. Saints, he had the nerve to _smile_ after what he did. Alina slapped him. 'How dare you do something this stupid! Who told you to go into the woods alone?’

He could’ve _died_ , died just like Mal and her parents and who would she have had left? Hot tears splashed down her face as he looked at her, stricken.

‘Alina - ‘

She dragged him down by the lapels of his horrid, wonderful teal coat and kissed him. This man was going to be the death of her.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> The moment I posted Slow and Steady, I wanted to write something from Alina's POV too. Here ya go!


End file.
